Raw Truth – What Writing Reveals

The writing course I’m following continues to astound me. It’s simple, yet profound. Receiving a prompt, and then releasing all expectations as I allow my fingers to tap into the keyboard what my heart wants to reveal. This week’s response to Julia’s prompt completely took me by surprise. She asked us to remember a time that felt bad/ugly/painful and then explore what blessed/grew/made us richer/more loving from it.

The moment was easy to recall, and the lessons learned equally so as I have spent many years reflecting on that time and what I learned from it. The gifts have been tremendous. And yet there is still grief at the loss of a close friend with whom I had spent many joyful years watching our children play and grow together. Although we made amends, my writing reveals the deep loss I still feel.

Although I haven’t yet had an opportunity to discuss this week’s contributions with Gary (my companion on this writing course) it’s clear from what he shares here that he has also been on a journey with this week’s prompt.

~ Details about the writing course that birthed these words are included below. ~

Written by Me

I want to tell you about the Easter Crisis.
The moment in time when my world came tumbling down.
Everything I believed in, worked for, longed for
Shattered, broken, like shards of glass on the classroom floor.

All the beauty, the honesty the rawness of hearts
The friendships we shared as we walked together
Towards this moment, this date with destiny,
This tender, bitter and painful unfolding, unravelling.

Where were you then?
Why did you. who I loved so dearly. become my enemy?
You with whom I had shared my heart, who had sat gently beside me 
As I wept tears of joy and sorrow
Dearest friend who I loved and admired
Where did all that go? I miss you.

Here now in the wake of all that pain
I look back with eyes shining as I know 
The lessons I needed were right there for me then
I discovered my fight, my inner warrior, my soldier on the front line
Willing to die for my cause.

I discovered my aggressor, the one who is so blind 
they can no longer see through the eyes of love.
I discovered my politician, the one on the pulpit, 
Spouting words to defend his glory.

I discovered my sisters, my comrades who came together
In the rawness of this moment, 
As we fought together for all we loved.

But you my beloved, you were not there.
And that hurts, that truly hurts to this very day.
We have made amends, our friendship renewed,
But the depth has gone, all that remains is a shell,
A shell that still echoes the good times.

The cherished moments 
Watching our children grow together,
Watching them play and learn and become 
the beautiful adults they now are. 

Time passes and we moved on, and yet even now 
I mourn that loss, that disconnect that tore the very foundations
Of all that I believed in and held dear.

I miss you my friend. And I love you still.
Written by Gary

I want to tell you about…

The times I was alone with deep dark thoughts
The times I wanted to do, what you see in the news
Or on tv
What lurks in my nightmares

Driven by raw chaos and ignorant disparity
Down into a spiralling hole
Press the button of mass destruction
Facing the dark night of the soul

But out of this war with myself
Stood the lonely warrior
Weary of battling the ghost of despair
The realisation that fighting with unreality
With dream, with ego
It's not a battle at all
But a dance of fortitude

They say time is a healer
But it wasn’t time that saved me
It was love
Physical love
Eternal love
The one true love

This is just a lesson I had to learn
But how well did I learn it?
How well did I make amends
How much of ME! did I lose

Standing with the perfect oneness
What experience did I choose
I chose you
The eternal one

You brought me peace and calm
And for the mind 
a balm of serenity
To which I owe eternal gratitude

BREATHE with Julia Fehrenbacher

I am following a writing course with a group of friends in which we receive a beautiful verse written by Julia Fehrenbacher, along with her writing prompt, suggestions for preparation and going deeper and an affirmation or mantra to carry with us through the week. It is truly inspirational.

Gary and I have made a commitment to share and publish each other’s writing on our websites. It often feels vulnerable to release this raw material to the world, but in doing so I hope to encourage you to free your creative spirit and see where it takes you.

Gary’s website: https://sites.google.com/view/gary-dean-breathe/home

For information about Julia’s writing courses visit: https://www.juliafehrenbacher.com/

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