Raw Truth – What Writing Reveals
The writing course I’m following continues to astound me. It’s simple, yet profound. Receiving a prompt, and then releasing all expectations as I allow my fingers to tap into the keyboard what my heart wants to reveal. This week’s response to Julia’s prompt completely took me by surprise. She asked us to remember a time that felt bad/ugly/painful and then explore what blessed/grew/made us richer/more loving from it.
The moment was easy to recall, and the lessons learned equally so as I have spent many years reflecting on that time and what I learned from it. The gifts have been tremendous. And yet there is still grief at the loss of a close friend with whom I had spent many joyful years watching our children play and grow together. Although we made amends, my writing reveals the deep loss I still feel.
Although I haven’t yet had an opportunity to discuss this week’s contributions with Gary (my companion on this writing course) it’s clear from what he shares here that he has also been on a journey with this week’s prompt.
~ Details about the writing course that birthed these words are included below. ~
Written by Me I want to tell you about the Easter Crisis. The moment in time when my world came tumbling down. Everything I believed in, worked for, longed for Shattered, broken, like shards of glass on the classroom floor. All the beauty, the honesty the rawness of hearts The friendships we shared as we walked together Towards this moment, this date with destiny, This tender, bitter and painful unfolding, unravelling. Where were you then? Why did you. who I loved so dearly. become my enemy? You with whom I had shared my heart, who had sat gently beside me As I wept tears of joy and sorrow Dearest friend who I loved and admired Where did all that go? I miss you. Here now in the wake of all that pain I look back with eyes shining as I know The lessons I needed were right there for me then I discovered my fight, my inner warrior, my soldier on the front line Willing to die for my cause. I discovered my aggressor, the one who is so blind they can no longer see through the eyes of love. I discovered my politician, the one on the pulpit, Spouting words to defend his glory. I discovered my sisters, my comrades who came together In the rawness of this moment, As we fought together for all we loved. But you my beloved, you were not there. And that hurts, that truly hurts to this very day. We have made amends, our friendship renewed, But the depth has gone, all that remains is a shell, A shell that still echoes the good times. The cherished moments Watching our children grow together, Watching them play and learn and become the beautiful adults they now are. Time passes and we moved on, and yet even now I mourn that loss, that disconnect that tore the very foundations Of all that I believed in and held dear. I miss you my friend. And I love you still.
Written by Gary I want to tell you about… The times I was alone with deep dark thoughts The times I wanted to do, what you see in the news Or on tv What lurks in my nightmares Driven by raw chaos and ignorant disparity Down into a spiralling hole Press the button of mass destruction Facing the dark night of the soul But out of this war with myself Stood the lonely warrior Weary of battling the ghost of despair The realisation that fighting with unreality With dream, with ego It's not a battle at all But a dance of fortitude They say time is a healer But it wasn’t time that saved me It was love Physical love Eternal love The one true love LOVE! This is just a lesson I had to learn But how well did I learn it? How well did I make amends How much of ME! did I lose Standing with the perfect oneness What experience did I choose I chose you The eternal one You brought me peace and calm And for the mind a balm of serenity To which I owe eternal gratitude
BREATHE with Julia Fehrenbacher
I am following a writing course with a group of friends in which we receive a beautiful verse written by Julia Fehrenbacher, along with her writing prompt, suggestions for preparation and going deeper and an affirmation or mantra to carry with us through the week. It is truly inspirational.
Gary and I have made a commitment to share and publish each other’s writing on our websites. It often feels vulnerable to release this raw material to the world, but in doing so I hope to encourage you to free your creative spirit and see where it takes you.
Gary’s website: https://sites.google.com/view/gary-dean-breathe/home
For information about Julia’s writing courses visit: https://www.juliafehrenbacher.com/
